PTSD

I was sitting there

And my heart started to bounce rapidly

There is no danger

There is no danger

I keep repeating to myself

But I can't slow my heartbeat

It feels like the danger is everywhere

But nowhere to be found

Meanwhile Im feeling foggy

Just like the other night

When my boundaries were just like desires to you

Desire to be with you I guess

But I'm sitting there months later

And I can't feel

My surrounding are not even real anymore

Im sitting there

Trying to understand

Trying to make sense

I’m trying to make sense of something I can’t change

Already happened

But I'm here and there

Trying to feel trying to cry

My emotions are so deep I can't even reach them anymore

And I cant press my heart

Its bouncing and bouncing out of my chest

And I reach my head

Trying to stop the numbness

Trying to feel that I'm here

I'm here and Not there

Where you left me

You were happy

I wasn’t

You finished

And I reached the bottom

But it’s my fault

It’s my fault

I shouldn’t be there

I shouldn’t be home

I shouldn’t open the door

I shouldn't trust you

But your here

And your there

In my head everywhere